Why some marriages fail

Broken marriage

Marriage is one of the most decisive steps a human being can take because through the seriousness of the vows exchanged, spiritual bonds are formed which can make or mar both parties, no matter their previous standing. It is also one of the greatest support systems The Almighty provides man with to help both parties become better human beings and fulfill the purpose of their existence. Thus, it should only be undertaken by the mature man and woman who have found true selfless love for each other and who then wish to strive together towards high ideals. All other reasons e.g. selfish interests, convenience, mere affection or passion etc., fall short of the genuineness and vitality inherent in a true marriage, which alone can ensure that it thrives.

However, in spite of all the earnest promises made by both bride and groom to each other on their wedding day, these initial joys do not always live up to their expectations, because judging from current statistics more than 50% of marriages end up in one or more forms of physical or emotional separation. This begs the question of why some marriages fail; amongst others, here are a few basic reasons why this could happen:

When the foundation for the marriage is wrong
Normally, whenever a foundation is faulty, no structure can stand firm on it. This truism is even more so with marriages! From the knowledge mediated in The Grail Message, we know that even from birth every human being brings along certain inner qualities, the harmonious development of which can be aided through those with complementing qualities.

Thus, it is the responsibility of the individual to undertake a personal journey of self-discovery, in order to get to know himself properly, so that at the right time, he can correctly intuit and recognize his true complement, for whom selfless love (which only desires to give and serve the other) will also blossom. A complement is one who naturally has the ability to bring out the best in the other through the blend of his own characteristics. Thus, uniting with one who is not a true complement is from the start, tantamount to erecting a building on sinking sands and the outcome need not be guessed about.

External influence
It could sometimes happen that through people external to the marriage, for example, family or friends, disharmony and discord are brought in either knowingly or unknowingly . In such cases, the bond of the marriage is as strong as its weakest link; thus it remains their duty to guard against any negative interference by engaging in sincere open communication and diligently building their commitment, trust and friendship to one another. Above all, a humble looking upwards to The Almighty in trust should underscore all that they do.

Internal influence
Even when the foundation of a marriage is right and there is no negative external influence, it is of utmost importance for the couple to pay attention to the internal building blocks which keep their love evergreen. One of such indispensable blocks is that they need to mutually connect at the level of their deepest beliefs, core values and goals and as friends, strive to find deeper meaning to life through the joint pursuit of common uplifting goals. If this does not happen, it may be only a matter of time before they drift apart, just because they were unable to forge this strong connection, as buttressed by this quote from The Grail Message – “Working together and having the same high aims are as necessary for a sound marriage as exercise and fresh air are indispensable for a healthy body”.

And so when ‘love’ seems to be waning in a marriage, rather than look for quick fixes or distractions, it is necessary to prayerfully go back to the basics and take a very objective and dispassionate look at the factors mentioned above, which are the mainstay of the whole structure. In addition, each spouse desirous of fostering a happy and harmonious union should find the courage to always look first within him/herself in order to recognize and work on the personal changes they need to make before demanding it of the other.

And in this, woman should take the lead, for if she chooses to ignore all else and focus on becoming faithful to her task as priestess of purity and cultivates within herself those virtues which make her pleasing to God, she will bring to bear her inherent ability to positively influence and silently remodel the man for good, which could very well re-ignite their love, provided that the foundation was healthy in the first place.

It is true however, that sometimes there may be deeper- lying fundamental and irreconcilable differences which could bring a marriage to an end despite all efforts. Thus should it happen that one or both spouses are not desirous of resolving their differences and a separation or divorce eventually become necessary, it should be handled in a mature manner and executed with a high sense of understanding and mutual courtesies, so that friendship need not be sacrificed on the altar of bitterness and disappointment. All in all, the down-times that sometimes occur in a marriage could be used as important periods for self-re-discovery which in turn will become a strong catalyst for personal growth.

The explanation given in this article is based on the writer’s understanding of the Work “In The Light of Truth”, The Grail Message by Abd-ru-shin.
The reader is hereby invited to personally examine this Work. Copies of the Work can be obtained from any of the addresses listed here.
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